Why are We so Afraid of Taking a Long Break?

Some time ago, I decided to rush. I applied so many jobs. I just did a screening over some portal jobs, without mindful thinking. I didn't care about title, work culture or maybe decent salary for myself. As long as the company had good reputation enough, I didn't care about other benefits. I also didn't think about some type of work that suits my passions. It's kinda bullshit lately. Economic needs above all else.

But ... I ended up wasting time instead.

I was very uncomfortable and embarrassed with a recruiter from a company. I know for sure, the offering letter was very good. At least for someone who avoids ODGJ (Orang Dengan Gaji Jogja). After a few days of training, I saw the work environment's quite pleasant (mostly single and Gen Z). I had a chance to talk with the CEO, someone I respect for her sensitivity and her wonderful work-life-balance. But I did a burst of tears on the first day of training. The job description doesn't match with my expectations. So I decided to withdraw from the offer.

Maybe some people will blame me. The recruiter. The trainer. The company. But honestly I'm more afraid of being blamed by my parents and family. I'm afraid of hearing words like "ungrateful" or "give up easily" from them.

They may all be right. My anxiety might win. I might listen more to the victim mindset in my head.

I'm trying to accept it. Until now. I will use this time to rest, to think more deeply, and to not rush. I've come to the realization that I really need a longer break. Why is it so hard to admit it even though I've been working for more than 7 years without a break (even though I worked for a short time in 2025)?

I don't know but why are we so afraid of taking a long break?

Almost everyone chooses to rush. We take every single opportunities. We always join the trend. We're always competing for something we don't really want. We chase something we may already have, in the name of pursuing stability. We always want more, do more. Never feel enough.

Maybe that's why taking a break feels like a shame. Every time we take a break, we might lose a lot so that's why we are so afraid.

But for me now, losing some chances means nothing compared to losing myself. This simple thought makes me want to take a long break bravely. Finally.